The Complete Guide to Ladyboy Culture In Thailand

Thailand is far from a boring country! The Land of Smiles has plenty of sights to see, places to be, food to eat, and people to meet—the kathoeys are some of those people.

Kathoeys, which loosely translates to ladyboys, refer to men who express their gender in feminine ways; in some cases, the term also applies to effeminate gay males. Their presence is especially felt in cities like Bangkok and Pattaya. Did you know that many people visit Thailand just to see them? Yes, you read that right! The fact that the “why are there so many ladyboys in Thailand” is a popular Thai culture Google search term is proof of that.

For this entry, we’ll get to know a bit more about the ladyboy culture in Thailand. Let’s look beyond the makeup and costumes, shall we?

Kathoey history

Here’s a bit of trivia for you: did you know that the Thai kathoey identity began as early as the 14th century? A USAID report confirms this fact. However, it wasn’t until the 19th century that Western influences and philosophies (which include the criminalization of homosexuality) wove themselves into Thai society. In addition, the Thai LGBT community started its visibility after the Second World War.

With that said, Thai society generally views kathoeys as a third gender, existing outside women and men. Kathoeys prefer this term because they regard “ladyboy” as a disrespectful one, despite its nuances. So when you encounter one, try to be as respectful as possible and mind your language.

Kathoeys and Buddhism

Religion plays a role in Thai society’s perception of kathoeys. 95% of the country’s population subscribes to Theravada Buddhism, which doesn’t entirely give kathoeys a warm welcome. Many Buddhists believe that kathoeys are paying the price for their past lives’ mistakes, which stems from their belief in karma—a fundamental Buddhist concept.

That aside, they don’t close the door on them either. Ancient Buddhist scriptures talk about three genders: women, men, and kathoeys. Going by that, Buddhism allows and acknowledges their existence. And since karma is a core philosophy, people have no reason to disrespect them; after all, what goes around comes around.

Kathoeys in Thai society

Since we’ve mentioned kathoeys’ visibility in Thai society, let’s go further into the subject. Shall we?

Bangkok (Thailand’s capital) is considered the country’s central area for the LGBT community. Pattaya comes at a close second, considering its nightlife.

Biases against them still exist, and the national government hasn’t done much by denying them several rights. As of writing, there aren’t any laws that acknowledge their sexual orientation and the gender they identify with.

Despite the setbacks, you’re probably wondering why there are many kathoeys in the country. Here are few good reasons behind their visibility in Thai society:

#1: Tolerance

One thing’s for sure: kathoeys are allowed to live their lives publicly, freely, and honestly in the capital and Pattaya—lives that other places in the world don’t grant. The fact that Buddhism—Thailand’s most practiced religion—acknowledges their existence (as mentioned earlier) helps a lot. This belief allows them to live life generally like every other Thai without fearing for their lives. 

However, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows 24/7 for kathoeys. They may not be bullied and discriminated against outright, but they still have difficulty getting well-paying jobs. When they do, though, they tend to get low posts and unfortunately get skipped over for promotions.

#2: Gender reassignment surgeries aren’t uncommon

Thailand isn’t just a travel destination. Many transgender people (both locals and foreigners) flock to the country to avail themselves of gender reassignment surgery. It’s a small yet steady niche in its medical tourism sector, which attracts over 2 million visitors annually. 

Why Thailand of all places? Dr. Preecha Tiewtranon—a pioneer of the country’s gender reassignment surgery—gives three reasons:

• Costs aren’t as heavy compared to other countries.

Patients can avail of packages that start at $9,770. Medical and surgical costs, accommodations, massages, and city tours are some of the inclusions.

• Results are of high quality.

Most doctors agree that Thailand’s done more than a fair job on this front. “It’s got the reputation, and it’s well set up,” says British urological surgeon James Bellringer, who’s performed over 1,000 male-to-female (MTF) surgeries in London.

• Patients can travel on the side.

If patients are up for it and have the budget, they can tour around Thai hotspots and must-sees.

#3: Tourists want to see them

Aside from their beauty, kathoeys are quite the talented bunch! You can always count on them to put on a show in cabarets and bars. We haven’t even mentioned the beauty pageants yet!

Foreign tourists get drawn to kathoeys for a few reasons. Some are simply curious about them, while others seek to conduct researches. 

On the other hand, other people are attracted to kathoeys for personal reasons. The demand for encounters shows no signs of slowing down, which unfortunately opens up a path for seedy activities.

#4: Their identities are their careers

It’s important to note that not every kathoey has a seedy job or background. Many have honest careers, from beauty to politics! You can find tons of kathoeys working in entertainment-related employment, mostly in urban areas. Their work draws audiences, both foreign and local, to their shows and gigs. 

#5: Indirect promotion

Did you know that famous local and international beauty contests for transgender women are held annually in Pattaya? That’s right! The Miss Tiffany’s Universe and Miss International queen pageants take center stage in Thailand’s Sin City.

These pageants have a large following not only in Thailand but also in other parts of the world! Many kathoeys want a shot at winning their crowns, hence why many people watch them. It also helps that the contests are nationally televised via live broadcast.

Beauty pageants aren’t the only event kathoeys shine in. They can hold their own in boxing matches too! If 2003’s Beautiful Boxer is an indication, they’re not to be messed with in the ring and make for entertaining fights.

These events promote kathoeys and show people that they’re more than just their looks. Want to have a fun time? Just watch them take the gym or stage!

Where to spot kathoeys

You don’t have to look far and wide to find kathoeys, especially if you’re in the big cities. Whether you’re having a night out at a bar or simply chilling out at a cafe, you’ll see them working.

Kathoey dating tips

#1: Tell them what’s your motive

Some people date for the wrong reasons. Ask yourself these questions: 

• Why do you want to go out with a specific person in the first place? 
• What do you want out of that specific person?
• Are you looking for something casual or a more serious relationship?

Spare your match the trouble and be clear with your intentions from the beginning. Don’t leave them high and dry with a broken heart!

#2: Brace yourself for some baggage

Not every kathoey is a ray of sunshine all the time. They may carry some emotional baggage with them due to past hurts. The best thing you can do for them is to be an emotionally available and supportive partner. A listening ear and understanding heart always helps!

#3: Treat them like you would any other woman

Kathoeys deserve to be treated fairly like everyone else. Despite their gender orientation, they’re still people! Give them the love, time, and attention you would to any other romantic partner. The last thing you want to do is fetishize them.

Also, don’t even think about asking inappropriate questions. You’ll just be wasting each other’s time if they’re all you’re going to talk about.

#4: Don’t keep them your dirty little secret

Kathoeys aren’t some secret fetish to repress. They deserve to be loved proudly and openly by their partners just as much as anyone else! Your total honesty paves the way for safe spaces, allowing society to understand them better as they freely express themselves.

#5: Keep the backhanded comments out

Being told that “I didn’t know you were a man” is not only annoying but pretty rude as well! It’s as if kathoeys are out there to trick people—which isn’t the case at all.

#6: Keep the bedroom talk where it belongs

Don’t talk about what’s in a kathoey’s pants inappropriately and publicly, especially if you two just met. There’s a time and place for that and other private matters, so keep your lips shut until then.

Kathoeys are just like other Thais. Behind all the hair, fashion, and makeup are lovely people who like to have a good time. Next time you see them on your Thailand trip, you’ll now know how to approach and interact with them appropriately.

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