10 Signs You’re Dating A Control Freak

How can someone tell if they’re dating a control freak? Is it in the way they talk? Or perhaps it is in the way they act around you or how they express your feelings? The truth is that there are many ways control freaks exert power over your life, and many signs slip our attention because we don’t think of it as controlling. In this article, we break down all the signs that you’re dating a control freak and offer solutions for what you can do in response.

What Is A Control Freak

Are you trying to figure out if your partner is a control freak? Before you continue your reading, learn the actual definition of dating a control freak. 

A control freak may find it hard to accept and identify that they are one, and they believe that they are always right, and they are only helping the people they love through criticism and control. They see themselves as a perfectionist and think that their constructive criticism supports other people to do better.

They can be the exact opposite of an optimistic person, always expecting negative things to happen and surrounding themselves with pessimism. That makes being in a relationship with a control freak a huge hurdle. 

Control freaks will make you think that what they do is for the sake of love and all to save your relationship. This behavior can lead to intense feelings of confusion and doubt in a control freak’s partner.

Control Freak Red Flags

If you’re still not sure if your partner is a control freak, here are ten signs that you can easily use to figure out if they are one or not.

1. Lying is normal to them 

As a control freak, they will make you think that what they did is something to help you to do better in your life. To convince you, they lie every time you bring it up, trying to hide the fact that they do what they do for their own benefit.

What this looks like:

If your partner cheats and you confront them about it, they will deny it and accuse you of making things up. This makes it easy for them to get out of a situation just by lying. Instead of telling the truth and facing the outcomes, they just quickly get away with it by lying. 

2. They can be ridiculously jealous

Jealousy is a normal feeling that exists in a romantic relationship. You have the right to be jealous and possessive of your partner. However, if they get too jealous, then there’s a high possibility you are dating a control freak. Why? Being absurdly jealous and possessive indicates that your partner has insecurities they are trying to hide by being jealous.

They want everything in their control. That applies to you not getting attached to another person than them. They fear that you will have someone else to run to if you become close to another person (even as friends).

What this looks like:

If you are in a situation where your attention is divided between them and another person, they will force you to choose between them and that other person. They do this by presenting you with false options—in a normal and healthy relationship, you shouldn’t have to choose between your partner and your friend.

3. They try to cause rifts between you and your family and friends

A possessive partner typically comes with another toxic trait: they will try to isolate you from your friends and family. You will have to handle the issue of not having to be connected with your friends and family. 

You feel lonely because they will subtly let you know you are not allowed to spend time with other people than them. They will secretly assist you in developing hatred and annoyance toward someone you love.

This is the worst thing about dating a control freak; you have no one to talk to about how you feel because they force you to ruin your relationships with other people. So never let that happen because you’ll always need someone from your family or friends when you are in a bad situation. 

What this looks like:

If there is a party that your friend or family member is organizing, your controlling partner will force you to choose between attending the party or spending time with them. And if you decide to share in the party, they will punish you emotionally for that.

4. They make decisions for you

Do they tell you what to eat or what to wear? Are they always making important plans in your relationship? Or, does your partner put you in a position that makes you feel incapable of doing something without them? If yes, then you are indeed dating a control freak.

What this looks like:

When they always plan your date nights without you, but they get furious when you do it. They also tend to tell you that you can’t eat a specific food group or wear a particular piece of clothing because they don’t like it. Your preferences are pushed aside in favor of what they want.

5. They love giving unsolicited advice 

A control freak tends to lead others because it is difficult for them to accept other people’s ideas. And, when things didn’t work out the way they wanted, they always blame you for it. 

Also, they love to talk, and they keep on throwing at you unsolicited advice. Their signature wise phrase? “I told you so.” 

What this looks like:

If you go by your plan, and it’s not going well, you’ll have to prepare yourself for an abundance of derogatory words from them. Or, when you follow what they said, but it ends up unsuccessful, they will find the tiniest mistake you made to blame you for the failure.

6. They Impair And Discourage You

Your romantic partner should be your best friend, lover, and cheerleader. But, if they’re acting like you’re in a bad competition with them, that’s not a good indication. You should rethink your situation because they will always have you thinking that they are more powerful than you.

Instead of making you feel happy and being the person you could run to, they become the person you fear when you do something wrong. Because once you tell them your mistake, they will only belittle you for doing such a thing.  

What this looks like:

Does your partner get too critical and judgy? Not just when they’re with you but also when he’s with other people. And they think they are good at everything, so in social gatherings, they can’t help make fun of people and criticize them in any way they like. 

7. You can’t have your alone time

Even though you have an intimate relationship with something, there will always be a need for you to have your own space. But, if your partner would not allow you to do that, that is not normal. 

To grow individually is essential when you are in a relationship; that is why it is important to value each other’s personal space. You should both understand that being in love doesn’t intend you to be around each other at all times.

What this looks like:

Do they check your phone? Do they regularly monitor your call log and text messages? Or see whose pictures you’ve liked on your social media accounts? As if that’s not enough, they sometimes require you to give your password on every account you have so that they can monitor every single thing you do.

8. They expect too much from you

Assuming that they are perfect and flawless, control freaks expect the same from people around them, and that includes you as their lover. They will sneakily micromanage you to make you fit their expectations. 

What this looks like:

When he sends a signal that nothing you do is good enough, there is a high possibility you are dating a control freak. 

Even on the little things, like washing their clothes. And you didn’t do it the way they do it. You’ll receive endless complaints about why you did not do it, like how they usually do it.

9. Everlasting manipulation 

Control freaks are the exact definition of manipulators. They can quickly get your trust by manipulating you, and you won’t even notice it. They will use your weakness against you to get what they want. 

They love to turn the tables. They are experts in making you believe that all the decisions they made are for your own good. But, remember, you are not to blame. Their words can be so deceiving that you will put all the trust in them. 

What this looks like:

When they ask you a favor, it starts with “If you love me…” This is a blatant manipulation that you might think is sweet at first, but you’ll soon realize that it is never a good practice in a loving relationship. 

10. They are narrow-minded and greedy 

Control freaks are not familiar with the phrase “give and take.” They always want to be the ones receiving. They hate it when you ask them to compromise. In a nutshell, they are selfish. They only prioritize their needs and wants.

The funny thing about them is that they will try to play mind games with you. Then, they will deceive you that they have made a lot of sacrifices for your relationship. 

What this looks like:

You expect them to listen to your worries like what you do for them. However, they never entirely give all ears when you need them to. 

What to Do If You’re Dating A Control Freak

Dealing with a control freak can be a menace. Before you enter a relationship, you want to be happy, but instead, you went on the wrong way. So, it is time that you should do some serious evaluations. 

Most of the time, there are two ways of handling them. One is to confront them, if they are truthfully apologetic, ask for a second chance, be strong enough to decide to stay or leave. However, if they are still hard as a rock and don’t listen to what you have to say, you might as well make a run for it. 

TrulyLadyboy’s Reminder

Know that you are worthy, and you should not settle any less. You will find someone that appreciates you and will treat you better. If you are ready, you can put yourself back in the dating scene, don’t worry; TrulyLadyboy is happy to assist you with that.